I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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