Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
