I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
