It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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