I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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