Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i think i scared a bird with my dick
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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