my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
