similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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