White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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