i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
