We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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