I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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