brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Watching her eat just hurts me
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
