No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
