i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
