it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
