Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
