you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
