So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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