This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize