Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
