scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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