His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize