To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
