In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
