All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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