Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
