I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize