My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
