There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize