I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
