dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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