Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
