"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
