Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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