Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
