went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish you could order shots online.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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