# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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