feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize