Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
