I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
