i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
