Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
