It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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