you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
