I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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