I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
