In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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