we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
