don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
