drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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