I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize