Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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