Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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