he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
