OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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