Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The air was thick with penises
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
