She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
