I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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